Living with ADHD: Will’s story

“When I was first diagnosed, it was a mix of relief and anxiety.” 

Will Gallini was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 16. Here, he shares his experiences of living with the condition and the importance of communication with friends and family.

Hi! My name’s Will, I’m a senior peer specialist within the Dorset Mental Health Forum. I do lots of work within ADHD, autism and young person’s mental health work. My role is to bring in lived experience to clinical places.  

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 16, although we’d been looking at ADHD since I was around 11 years old. When I was first diagnosed, it was a mix of relief and anxiety. It was a relief in the way that it explained a lot about me, and meant I was able to articulate how I felt to others, and was able to get medication to support myself. The anxiety came from the fact that it was a lifelong diagnosis – it wouldn’t change anything, but it’s something that’s a part of me now.  

ADHD impacted me at school mostly when I was younger. At home, I could be hyperactive and be myself, and it was no problem. At school, it was always an issue. I was getting thrown out of class, walking out etc. I left school at 13, and ended up home-schooling.  

As I’ve grown up, I find ADHD affects me in the emotional sense more. While it definitely makes focusing with work harder, it’s the emotional outbursts and impulse control that affect me now. ADHD definitely changed in the way it showed over my life – it’s much easier now that I’m out of school, but there are definite difficulties being an adult with ADHD. 

Being diagnosed with both Autism Spectrum Condition (ASC) and ADHD, there’s definitely a sense of conflict there within myself. When I’m stressed or tired, I find myself coming across much more ASC, with the ADHD seeming to present less. In my day-to-day life however, I present much more as ADHD. This can make it incredibly difficult for people around me to support and predict behaviours, which can be difficult living in a very neurodiverse family.  

I’ve found communication to be the most important part of supporting myself with this – being able to explain behaviours and support family in knowing why I’m having an emotional outburst, for example. I also struggle with mental health, which makes regulating my behaviour incredibly difficult with ADHD on-top of that, too. 

I find ADHD definitely has its strengths though, too. When I’m able to regulate my energy, I’m able to being creativity and passion to everything I do. I’m very aware of others emotions and able to empathise and support people in ways that are really unique to me, and I’m able to completely dedicate myself to things I find interesting. While it makes it difficult doing boring tasks, I’d definitely say ADHD is an advantage for me at work – it’s just regulating my energy after work I struggle with! 

When it comes to supporting myself and my wellbeing with ADHD, I find that communication is seriously important. I talk through why I get stressed with family, and just making sure that people are aware of the “why” being my actions, I guess. People find it much easier to understand if they know “why”.  

Medication is also really helpful, as it helps me regulate my emotions and impulsivity. Building routines for sleep and food too – eating at specific times in order to build that routine is super important.

In terms of advice to family of people who’ve just been diagnosed, definitely just communication. At the end of the day, nothing has changed pre-diagnosis to post-diagnosis. You likely have lots of support in place you’ve built up – just being open to communication as usual. If you choose medication, just accepting changes, and being open to supporting as usual. 

Advice for someone who’s just been diagnosed? Just looking at what you want from the diagnosis. Do you want medication? Do you want to find other strategies? The diagnosis opens up doors – you still have control of your life. It’s about what you need and want, not what others think is best.  

If you choose medication, being aware of what it does to you, too. If you find the side effects are too much, you can say you want to move to a different medication, or choose different coping strategies. You have agency over your support, it’s important to remember that, especially with ADHD.